Kerala Wedding Directory · Guide

How a Kerala Christian wedding is arranged

A Kerala Christian wedding is a sequence, not a single day. Each stage has its own people to involve and its own lead time, and families who plan them in order spend far less than families who discover them one at a time.

The betrothal

Once both families agree, the alliance is fixed at a betrothal — the nishchayam — usually held at the bride's home or her parish hall. Rings are exchanged and the wedding date is set. Nothing before this point is binding, and nothing after it is easily undone, so it is worth holding until both families have actually met rather than treating it as a formality.

The banns

In the Catholic and Orthodox churches the marriage is announced in both parishes on three consecutive Sundays, so that anyone aware of an impediment can raise it. This sets the earliest possible wedding date: three weeks from the first announcement, and the parish priest needs notice before that. Couples marrying across rites or across dioceses should expect additional paperwork and should start it at betrothal, not after.

The ceremony

The wedding itself follows the rite of the church — Syro-Malabar, Syro-Malankara, Latin, Orthodox, Jacobite, Mar Thoma or CSI — and they differ more than families expect. Most are set within a nuptial Mass or Holy Qurbana. Where the two families belong to different churches, agree early which rite the wedding will follow; it is a conversation better had at betrothal than in the last fortnight.

Minnu and manthrakodi

In the Syrian Christian tradition the groom ties the minnu, a small leaf-shaped pendant on a thread drawn from the manthrakodi, around the bride's neck, and then places the manthrakodi — the wedding sari, blessed by the priest — over her head. Both are ordered well in advance; the jeweller usually needs several weeks for the minnu.

The sadya and the reception

The wedding meal is traditionally a sadya served on a plantain leaf, though many families now hold a reception at a hall instead of or in addition to it. Catering, hall, photography and travel are the four bookings that run out first in the Kerala wedding season between December and May — book them as soon as the date is set at the betrothal.

Planning in order

The sequence that works is: fix the alliance, hold the betrothal and set the date, give the parish notice for the banns, then book hall, caterer, photographer and travel in that order. Jewellery and the manthrakodi can be arranged in parallel. Families who book the hall before the parish has confirmed the date routinely end up moving one or the other.

All of this comes after the alliance is fixed. To begin the search itself, see Brides and Grooms.